Run # 568 Bonsai Shining anniversary

So many people from varied fields and you'd expect someone to come forward and write a blog in the absence of the person who usually writes the blog. 

But we are drinkers with a running problem (and apparently also a writing problem). So here are some notes from the run:

1. The run started at Haiko

2. They ran through Powai and made it to Kanjur Marg

3. They had beer

4. It was Bonsai and Shinings 25th Hashing Anniversary. 

Everybody went back home. 

On On!

Run # 567 Halloween at Independence Brewing Company

  

It started getting real spooky at Independence Brewing Company at around 6ish as the dark entities started walking in the gate. Fubar had almost turned into a zombie as the skin kept falling off his face. He also managed to take a big chunk out of Half a Peacock's cheeks, slowly but surely turning her into a zombie too. 

Vinod, the masked guy from Scream, casually walks in and asks about. "There's time to start the mass murders.", says Fubar, raising his glass to him. 

"Where are the hashers meeting?" asks Sangha at the host desk. She is followed by, not yet Yoda. 

By 6.30, the outside of IBC is strolled by zombies, Yoda, vampires, Scream, Guy Fawkes and even Terminator is back, though he kept saying, "I'll be back" for some reason. Maybe he had to take a tinkle. A huge cry for help makes us rush towards a big car parked on the side as the security and Wreckless pull out a man, a devil rather, carrying Fartashaty in a box. 

The highlight costume was that of Wackopedia. He came dressed as Jaideep. Super scary. 

Fashionably late, the bunch walks out of the gate and immediately grabs attention from fellow passerby's.

Less than a km from the run, creatures from the other dimension decide that they are the sons of devils and do not want to follow rules, create mayhem rather and go to a mall. At this thought, all hell breaks loose as the devils turn around making their way to the mall.

Fubar manages to put up a convincing zombie act as he actually makes quiet a few people scream and run hap hazardly on the streets; to a point that he managed to make a security guy run for his life at a multiplex. 

As the ghostly creatures enter Infiniti Mall, they are stopped by security and they wouldn't let us in. 

Outside though, we have our paparazzi moment as we are surrounded by shoppers who are scrambling to take pictures with us. No kidding,

a good 30 minutes was spent at the mall entrance just posing for pictures with families, kids and even some cute looking chics. Sangha was even introduced to Tik Tok as a boy walks up to her and makes a Tik Tok with her.  

We are too smitten to do anything else but drink beer so we head back to IBC as fast as we can. 

And the 567th last supper is a gala event with good beers, good food and fantastic people. 

Beer session highlights:

Hashers living in the vicinity decide to attend the post run down downs

Amol is molested and doggied by the ghost who doggied Farty throughout the run

Everyone is drunk, no glasses break... Or do they? 

Ok bye!

Oh wait... here is a picture of us all.

Run 566 Aman Lodge (Matheran)

Matheran, Monkey Land

The threshold between Dastur and Matheran is a magical place. This is the point where you have to let go of your vehicle and chose your foot or a horses. And this is why, Matheran is a pollution free hill top, filled with trees. The first movers to this jungle were the monkeys, then humans, as always, encroached. Now they try to live together in harmony and the conflicts are hilarious. 

So, it was obvious that a Hash Run in Matheran is not something you would want to miss. And we didn't. 

DYK: Aman Lodge is a Heritage II property, around a 100 years old. 

Early morning pre run convo at Aman Lodge. 

The run was a beautifully marked trail set by the Bawa boys, Baby Dick and Wreckless. The 8km walk in the woods was made easier by the shade of the trees, the morning breeze and the peace of the jungle. Around 2 hours of pure bliss.

                                                                

                         

Back at Aman Lodge, Half a Peacock danced the monkeys away and kept our beers safe and cold. Pre downs downs were spent discussing Nash Hash, chit chatting, feeding the mutts in the property and shooing the notorious monkeys away from our food. 

Circle

Baby Dick and Wreckless did a fantastic job with the marking and the trail. A superb run. They sat on cubes and drank up.

Don't Ask was iced for asking Bonsai who Fubar was. DAMN!

This is Karsten. His mother hash is Bombay Hash. Over his period with us, he taught us zero English but learned good Hindi from us. Then he moved back to Oslo. We couldn't give him a fairwell gift. This time, we didn't want to miss it. We named him. Karsten, by the power vested in Bonsai, GM of Bombay Hash, you shall now be "Looks like cum." Welcome to the family bro. 

Cunt Chinmay and Dickless Deepali are new hashers. This was their first hashing experience. They both wore new shoes and came for the run. We christened the shoes with beer. They drank the beer from the shoe. They'll fit right in. :)

Zafar kept claiming that Aman Lodge belong to him. So Abbas bhai asked him to grace the ice cubes on behalf of himself. Makes me cum represented KF on behalf of VM. Thank you sponsors for the lovely Hashing Sunday.

The ride back to Bombay was equally hilarious with 9 drunkards, one with a "broken leg" boarded the local train and created a rukus of sorts... Ask Half a Peacock for more details.

On On to Run 567.

Run # 565 Huseni Farm

The run was the year was amazing as always. Wackopedia's jinx is finally broken. Inspite of his absence for this one, the rain didn't show us it's lovely face. Also, this has to be the first time in the past many years that it did not rain on a Huseni run.

But the scenic beauty of that place kept us occupied. Hares Shivaji and Fadia spared us the long and treacherous climbs this time and kept the run pretty much on the road. However, Shivaji needs a Haring 101, as his markings were questionable. Well, we'll note it to Fadia's company and whatever happened between them the night before that made them both so lazy. 

The 30+ hashers did finish the run with high spirits, 3 of them took a shortcut; 2 of those were part of the mismanagement. Lazy buggers.

 

Back at the farm, we indulge in some baby monkey pleasure. Yes, while Huseni farm is always a dog friendly place, this time, we also had a baby monkey to give us company. The baby fell from a tree and the mom ran away out of fear. The baby monkey took shelter with the dogs at Huseni farm. True story. 

                                   

Ok, enough Monkey Business. While the rain still eluded us, we made the most of the cool climate under the shed and cold beer always helps. 

Circle:

Shivaji and Fadia for a wonderful, unmarked run!

Shining on the ice

Shining is responsible for acquiring things we need during the run i.e. ice tubs, plates, spoons, barmen uniforms etc. Now, if you notice, he's not sitting in he ice tub, rather he's sitting in the ice box which has all our beers. Not only that, he forgot the slutty nurse uniform which pissed the fuck out of hashers. While the clan kept screaming "Burn the witch", we iced him.

Some hashers in our family are true runners. Take for instance, Assman. This burger, to be dad soon, ran some city marathon (10k) in the morning before him and the Mrs. came to Karjat and even did a walk here. Arey waah! While we couldn't put the mom and the to be born on the ice, Assman had no problem whatsoever.  Unfortunately we don't have a picture of that moment. It's on video I guess... :)

Clit-oh-patra and Ninja was next for shortcutting. For someone who was lagging way behind, they came back to the venue pretty fast. Again, no pic but on video. :)

Shivaji Returns

Shivaji was iced again. Well, Huseni farms is our most awaited run of the year. Shivaji is the reason we get this venue for our spoils. We spoiled him with free beer in an unwashed piss pot and also sang him a brand new song, never sung on the hash before... "Padosan apni murgi ko rakhna sambhal, mera murga hua hai deewana." He couldn't be happier.

After the circle and the anthem, we lined up for the biryani and gave side glances to Shining. He had forgotten the plates and spoons too.  

With a belly full of beer and biryani, everyone apart from drivers slept in the car while 2 hashers walked to the station for a long, tired, dreadful train ride. 

On On! till the next run. 

Venue hint: MonkeyLand

Run # 564 Rao Bungalow

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Run # 563 Tribal Route Uksan

Total Bollywood run!

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Not because we had celebrities running. Not because we played Bollywood songs. But because, after a while, we got a full desi run, NO FIRANGS for this one!

Wackopedia not coming did not ensure rain, it did however ensure an almost 'going to rain' climate. Thanks Wackopedia. 

The run:

Break a Leg, with the help of Santoshji laid a lovely 8 click trail. Being the environment friendly people that we are, we also carried scissors (Break a leg and Farty did) and religiously removed all the tape from the trail. If they were reusable, we'd be sorted. 

Coming back to the run; the trail took us off track a couple of times. Not cos of bad marking, but the scenic location just made us keep walking. Also, the variety of things we picked up from trees kept us really occupied. We picked Jamuns and Mango's and that's it. Also, Half a Peacock mislead a bunch of hashers off the trail with the markings she had on her head. Colouring your hair bright red, a day before the hash, not a good idea.

The trail had a lot to offer. A lovely walk along the lake, followed by a steep incline and a slippery descent onto the road. Offroad again, crawling under a barbed wire fence, walking alongside the lake, cooling off around a broken water pipe were some of the highlights of the run. All in all, 2 hours well spent. 

The trail. 

Back at the venue, there was a musical buzz as we got a BT Speaker to entertain. English Retro was the choice of music for the day. At some point, The Energizer Bunny attracted a cow and almost let the dame in, lousy fucker.

THE CIRCLE:

1. Hares: Break a Leg & Fartashaty

While both struggled to sit in the ice tub, the superb run was cheered with praises from one and all. While a lot of it was repeat from last years run, there is only so much we can do from a country side venue and the effort was applauded. A solid 9/10 run. Rain would have just made it better. 

2. Long Cutters: Just Ria, Doctor Porn & Dickless Harold

All 3 front runners, all 3 were doing great time and then, someone shouted "On Up" and we found them climbing up a dry waterfall, no where a trail and no marking in sight. I think they were upto no good. Now, legend will say that they had a threesome but eyewitnesses claim that Ria recorded while Harold and Rohan went for it. 

They were iced for misleading. 

3. Charges: Dickless Amol & Singing Vangina

Mr. Kalyanpur decided to resurface after a hiatus of 13 years. His ass had to be iced. Singing Vangina on the other hand thought she was gonna walk a fashion ramp and changed into fancy outfit. Her ass was iced too. 

Four. Host and the Red Tape: On a Loop & Half a Peacock

While Horny Yeti was absent, we got On a Loop to grace the ice and thank her for the venue. Half a Peacock was "Peacock on Period" OR "Menstruating Peacock" for the run. She caused a lot of distractions with her short hair coloured redder than the fucking red tape. 

5. Bonsai & Fubar

Wreckless charged the mismanagement with a date gone wrong. Miss. M accepted the charge and the circle was adjourned. 

6. Cunt Sarang

Visiting hasher from Pune could barely contain his laughter with all the nonsense that ensued throughout the circle. He was iced and welcome to the BH3 clan. He promised he'll come for all future runs. Welcome!

First timers could not contain their excitement over the Hash Anthem. Biryani was yum and spicy. 

BUT IT DIDN'T RAIN... so we headed back, high and dry!

On On!

Link to pictures from the run:

https://www.facebook.com/events/383611698923793/

Click here to check out the video.

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Run # 562 Farewell from the 34th floor

I started running with BH3 during a time when there were less of these tall towers in the city. How the skyline has changed. :)

Well, that statement makes no sense right now. So, let's get back to the run.

Here is something you should know about Samir aka Sexy Sam and Dibs aka Clueless Dick. They keep moving a lot, within the city. And that works to our benefit. Because every time they move to a new house, we get 3 things:
1. Their house for a run
2. Those yummy potatoes that Samir makes
3. THOSE YUMMY POTATOES THAT SAMIR MAKES.

You have to try them to know what we're talking about. This was the 3rd time that they hosted us. The 1st was in Bandra and then one in Ghatkopar. And NOW, we run from their house in Mulund. The view from the 34th floor was nice... anything from that height would look so beautiful. :)

Sexy Sam and Clueless Dick having a beer! 

Anyway, we knew that if we gathered people in his house, no one would want to go for the run. So, we met outside the Starbucks below is building. 20 odd runners were flagged off for the run by the hare, Rohan, who surprisingly disappeared as soon as the run got over. The mystery remains. 

Strava is sucking BIG TIME lately. It never works on my phone. However, the run couldn't have been better. It was marked perfectly and the hares made sure they were present at strategic locations to guide us. Being an entire road run, we were expecting to be boiling in the heat but the climate was merciful too. 

Other major highlight of the run was how Farty almost ruined it for us. More about that later. 

After the 7+ km run, thirsty us came back to the 34th floor and were greeted by some refreshing cold beers and the famous POTATOES. They were a welcome sight. 

Circle:

As the original hare disappeared mysteriously, we replaced him with Sexy Sam. He got so excited in the tub of ice, he broke the damn thing. All applauded for the run, no one mourned the broken tub. They drank from their piss pots. 

Up next were Fartashaty and Meenal. Farty almost killed himself and ruined the run for us by crossing a signal in a risky fashion. Wreckless mouthed a few bad words in his Parsi accent.

Meenal has been hashing for over 2 years and has never hared a run. tch tch tch... Everyone laughed, no one mourned the broken tub. They drank from their piss pots. 

Just Meenal and Fartashaty!

Poonam and Chris (who came on his father's recommendation) were next to grace the tub. Poonam got iced errr... tubbed for resurfacing after a long time and we welcomed Chris into the family. Everybody laughed, no one mourned the broken tub. They drank from their piss pots. 

C for Chris and P for Poonam

The Hash Anthem followed. Surprisingly, the only person who kept screaming, "Cumming" throughout the anthem was aapdi Bonsai. Everybody laughed, no one mourned the broken tub. It now lay in a corner as everyone drank beer and had biryani. 

Before the biryani however, we did celebrate the just gone and upcoming birthday of Hand Cock and Wreckless. 

Temton on Wreckless ki godd! Dont ask. 

The cake was yummy, it got over before we could finish the National Anthem errrr Birthday Song. :P

Kidding! Everybody had the lovely cake, no one mourned the broken tub, life moved on. 

On On till the next run!

The group that DID NOT MOURN the broken tub. 

A few points to remember:

1. Nash Hash 2020 is hosted by Bombay Hash. Keep your eyes open, early bird rates to come out soon. 

2. If you wish to assist with the arrangements for NH2020, kindly get in touch with Miss. Management

3. Please spare a minute for the BROKEN TUB.

Ok bye!

Run # 561 Easter Brunch at Doolally (Khar)

BREAKING NEWS!!!

BOMBAY HASH GOES HI-TECH,

MARKS TRAIL ON GOOGLE MAPS!

Bombay: In what stands to be a milestone achievement in the history of The Bombay Hash House Harriers, lazy hares, Bela aka Double Crosser and Vinod aka Just Vinod, mapped the entire trail in a car and sent Google Map co-ordinates to the runners who came to Run # 5690 or, in reality, Run # 561.

A mad man who claimed he had a Baby Dick, created commotion outside Bandra station by playing a bugle in a very annoying tune. Later it was discovered that Baby Dick was not a reference, it was his name. The bawa community is known to be very disappointed in their very own, Porus. 

15 odd runners / walkers / crawlers, accompanied by a cute canine started their protest march from the railway station, through the streets of Bandra. The first stop was Yatch followed by sponsored coconut water at Carter Road Joggers Park. The morcha, in instalments crossed the Carter Road and reached Doolally, Khar in their own version of the trail. It'd be fair to conclude that, perhaps, hi-tech runs were no fun. No screams of 'On On!' were heard today. 

A quiet Doolally started listening to some noise as hashers slowly and gradually crawled in and acquired a designated area for the brunch. Hand made craft beers only helped the gang to get louder as the morning turned into afternoon. 

Loud conversations ranging from Mr. PM to Cumagain's favorite, RaGa, from the most awaited upcoming Nash Hash 2020, to who get's the Maharaj and the Honda Civic were all discussed. Beers kept pouring in and hashers were hammered in no time. 

While this was a brunch event, they could not conduct the circle. They did, however, turn eyeballs as 30+ hashers got up to sign the Hash Anthem as they made masturbating gestures and acted to spit on our hands for lubrication. 

They also got a couple, a dermatologist and his patient (on a date), interested enough to join them for the next run. While some hashers thinned out after not being able to control their drinks, those who stayed back continued to party till way after brunch hours and entertained themselves to a game of Jenga followed by 21, a drinking game. 

Honorary mentions:

A big shout out to team Doolally and especially Clit-ohhhh-Patra for the lovely arrangement for the group.

On On!

Run # 560 Piroza Mansion

'Teja Main Hoon, Mark Kidhar Hai?'

On the Loop tried really hard to blow like Baby Dick does. Fubar gave it a go too. Eventually, we realised that no one can blow like Baby Dick does.

We're talking about the Hash bugle, pervs.

In her loudest voice ever, Bonsai, GM, announced, "Welcome to run # Five Hundred and Sixtyyyyyyyy." Hares Anand, Gaurav Saha and Half a Peacock took to the center of the busy street and explained the details of the run. Very proudly the hares announced how the run had been marked with red tape at HAP's height... not true and how the run would pass through the infamous Chor Bazaar... not true again as we would come to know eventually

Horny Yeti, On a Loop, Meghan and Fubar decided to walk this one off to get photo opportunities along the way. So, we decided to join HAP as she swept the hashers. And we realised the mistake within 20 minutes when we hit the first junction. While we looked for the marking at an intersection, Half a Peacock looked visibly confused. HaP, senior hare, had no clue where the next turn was and us hashers couldn't control our laughter. :P

Can you see the marking? She couldn't... Bwahahahaha

So, after getting lost, thanks to the hare, and entering the venue from Grant Road (West), which was not supposed to be... the 5 of us reached after everybody else had finished a round of beer... NOT!

Piroza terrace is a getaway in itself. Located in one of the most busiest areas of Bombay, it disconnects you from the crowd and the noise. The shed keeps you protected from the heat and the lovely plantations to keeps you entertained.

Circle:

Hares were put in the bucket and boo'ed upon mixed reviews for the run. 6/10 for this one.
  

Up next were charges and FUBAR, once again realised not to put his big foot in his even bigger mouth. While he charged Bela for shortcutting, she wouldn't sit on the ice and nominated him in her stead. :( ... Hashers laughed and shared plenty a stories while Fub and Mr. Haresh Gidwani (for resurfacing) froze their butts off on the ice.



Gaurav was called on the ice again and would sit in the bucket as Gaurav for the last time. His christening was long overdue. After a successful vote, he was named 'Clit - Ohhh - Patra'... don't forget the pleasure in OH. Why that name? Well, he earned it for his interest in pussies and history... once again, we were talking of cats... STOP IT already... :P

Here is something to be excited about...
How many of you attended the Maha Hash at Mahabaleshwar? OR the Nash Hash in Nashik? You know the one thing common in both?

Both were hosted by Bombay Hash House Harriers

Some still claim that they were one of the best Nash Hash's in India and Bombay Hash did a wonderful job hosting it.
Ab apne muh miya mithoo kya bane hum...

BH3 is hosting 2020 again and all support is welcome and appreciated. We will need helping hands so if you think you can contribute to the work, kindly get in touch with the mismanagement.

NOW, everyone got so orgasmic hearing this that we completely forgot to put Farty in the bucket for getting us this venue to run. "bach gaya saala"

Down went the beer cans, up went the volume as we sang the Hash Anthem!

Beer, Biryani and Bak-bak continued till we felt we'd had enough of each other and thinned out.

Some more memories from the run:

So lost we had to have chai!

Teen Mundi wali Chudail!

r u relaxing? 

The hare who didn't mark aka Teja for the day!

Run 556 Khemlani Residence

Post coming soon!