Run # 563 Tribal Route Uksan

Total Bollywood run!

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Not because we had celebrities running. Not because we played Bollywood songs. But because, after a while, we got a full desi run, NO FIRANGS for this one!

Wackopedia not coming did not ensure rain, it did however ensure an almost 'going to rain' climate. Thanks Wackopedia. 

The run:

Break a Leg, with the help of Santoshji laid a lovely 8 click trail. Being the environment friendly people that we are, we also carried scissors (Break a leg and Farty did) and religiously removed all the tape from the trail. If they were reusable, we'd be sorted. 

Coming back to the run; the trail took us off track a couple of times. Not cos of bad marking, but the scenic location just made us keep walking. Also, the variety of things we picked up from trees kept us really occupied. We picked Jamuns and Mango's and that's it. Also, Half a Peacock mislead a bunch of hashers off the trail with the markings she had on her head. Colouring your hair bright red, a day before the hash, not a good idea.

The trail had a lot to offer. A lovely walk along the lake, followed by a steep incline and a slippery descent onto the road. Offroad again, crawling under a barbed wire fence, walking alongside the lake, cooling off around a broken water pipe were some of the highlights of the run. All in all, 2 hours well spent. 

The trail. 

Back at the venue, there was a musical buzz as we got a BT Speaker to entertain. English Retro was the choice of music for the day. At some point, The Energizer Bunny attracted a cow and almost let the dame in, lousy fucker.

THE CIRCLE:

1. Hares: Break a Leg & Fartashaty

While both struggled to sit in the ice tub, the superb run was cheered with praises from one and all. While a lot of it was repeat from last years run, there is only so much we can do from a country side venue and the effort was applauded. A solid 9/10 run. Rain would have just made it better. 

2. Long Cutters: Just Ria, Doctor Porn & Dickless Harold

All 3 front runners, all 3 were doing great time and then, someone shouted "On Up" and we found them climbing up a dry waterfall, no where a trail and no marking in sight. I think they were upto no good. Now, legend will say that they had a threesome but eyewitnesses claim that Ria recorded while Harold and Rohan went for it. 

They were iced for misleading. 

3. Charges: Dickless Amol & Singing Vangina

Mr. Kalyanpur decided to resurface after a hiatus of 13 years. His ass had to be iced. Singing Vangina on the other hand thought she was gonna walk a fashion ramp and changed into fancy outfit. Her ass was iced too. 

Four. Host and the Red Tape: On a Loop & Half a Peacock

While Horny Yeti was absent, we got On a Loop to grace the ice and thank her for the venue. Half a Peacock was "Peacock on Period" OR "Menstruating Peacock" for the run. She caused a lot of distractions with her short hair coloured redder than the fucking red tape. 

5. Bonsai & Fubar

Wreckless charged the mismanagement with a date gone wrong. Miss. M accepted the charge and the circle was adjourned. 

6. Cunt Sarang

Visiting hasher from Pune could barely contain his laughter with all the nonsense that ensued throughout the circle. He was iced and welcome to the BH3 clan. He promised he'll come for all future runs. Welcome!

First timers could not contain their excitement over the Hash Anthem. Biryani was yum and spicy. 

BUT IT DIDN'T RAIN... so we headed back, high and dry!

On On!

Link to pictures from the run:

https://www.facebook.com/events/383611698923793/

Click here to check out the video.

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Run # 562 Farewell from the 34th floor

I started running with BH3 during a time when there were less of these tall towers in the city. How the skyline has changed. :)

Well, that statement makes no sense right now. So, let's get back to the run.

Here is something you should know about Samir aka Sexy Sam and Dibs aka Clueless Dick. They keep moving a lot, within the city. And that works to our benefit. Because every time they move to a new house, we get 3 things:
1. Their house for a run
2. Those yummy potatoes that Samir makes
3. THOSE YUMMY POTATOES THAT SAMIR MAKES.

You have to try them to know what we're talking about. This was the 3rd time that they hosted us. The 1st was in Bandra and then one in Ghatkopar. And NOW, we run from their house in Mulund. The view from the 34th floor was nice... anything from that height would look so beautiful. :)

Sexy Sam and Clueless Dick having a beer! 

Anyway, we knew that if we gathered people in his house, no one would want to go for the run. So, we met outside the Starbucks below is building. 20 odd runners were flagged off for the run by the hare, Rohan, who surprisingly disappeared as soon as the run got over. The mystery remains. 

Strava is sucking BIG TIME lately. It never works on my phone. However, the run couldn't have been better. It was marked perfectly and the hares made sure they were present at strategic locations to guide us. Being an entire road run, we were expecting to be boiling in the heat but the climate was merciful too. 

Other major highlight of the run was how Farty almost ruined it for us. More about that later. 

After the 7+ km run, thirsty us came back to the 34th floor and were greeted by some refreshing cold beers and the famous POTATOES. They were a welcome sight. 

Circle:

As the original hare disappeared mysteriously, we replaced him with Sexy Sam. He got so excited in the tub of ice, he broke the damn thing. All applauded for the run, no one mourned the broken tub. They drank from their piss pots. 

Up next were Fartashaty and Meenal. Farty almost killed himself and ruined the run for us by crossing a signal in a risky fashion. Wreckless mouthed a few bad words in his Parsi accent.

Meenal has been hashing for over 2 years and has never hared a run. tch tch tch... Everyone laughed, no one mourned the broken tub. They drank from their piss pots. 

Just Meenal and Fartashaty!

Poonam and Chris (who came on his father's recommendation) were next to grace the tub. Poonam got iced errr... tubbed for resurfacing after a long time and we welcomed Chris into the family. Everybody laughed, no one mourned the broken tub. They drank from their piss pots. 

C for Chris and P for Poonam

The Hash Anthem followed. Surprisingly, the only person who kept screaming, "Cumming" throughout the anthem was aapdi Bonsai. Everybody laughed, no one mourned the broken tub. It now lay in a corner as everyone drank beer and had biryani. 

Before the biryani however, we did celebrate the just gone and upcoming birthday of Hand Cock and Wreckless. 

Temton on Wreckless ki godd! Dont ask. 

The cake was yummy, it got over before we could finish the National Anthem errrr Birthday Song. :P

Kidding! Everybody had the lovely cake, no one mourned the broken tub, life moved on. 

On On till the next run!

The group that DID NOT MOURN the broken tub. 

A few points to remember:

1. Nash Hash 2020 is hosted by Bombay Hash. Keep your eyes open, early bird rates to come out soon. 

2. If you wish to assist with the arrangements for NH2020, kindly get in touch with Miss. Management

3. Please spare a minute for the BROKEN TUB.

Ok bye!

Run # 561 Easter Brunch at Doolally (Khar)

BREAKING NEWS!!!

BOMBAY HASH GOES HI-TECH,

MARKS TRAIL ON GOOGLE MAPS!

Bombay: In what stands to be a milestone achievement in the history of The Bombay Hash House Harriers, lazy hares, Bela aka Double Crosser and Vinod aka Just Vinod, mapped the entire trail in a car and sent Google Map co-ordinates to the runners who came to Run # 5690 or, in reality, Run # 561.

A mad man who claimed he had a Baby Dick, created commotion outside Bandra station by playing a bugle in a very annoying tune. Later it was discovered that Baby Dick was not a reference, it was his name. The bawa community is known to be very disappointed in their very own, Porus. 

15 odd runners / walkers / crawlers, accompanied by a cute canine started their protest march from the railway station, through the streets of Bandra. The first stop was Yatch followed by sponsored coconut water at Carter Road Joggers Park. The morcha, in instalments crossed the Carter Road and reached Doolally, Khar in their own version of the trail. It'd be fair to conclude that, perhaps, hi-tech runs were no fun. No screams of 'On On!' were heard today. 

A quiet Doolally started listening to some noise as hashers slowly and gradually crawled in and acquired a designated area for the brunch. Hand made craft beers only helped the gang to get louder as the morning turned into afternoon. 

Loud conversations ranging from Mr. PM to Cumagain's favorite, RaGa, from the most awaited upcoming Nash Hash 2020, to who get's the Maharaj and the Honda Civic were all discussed. Beers kept pouring in and hashers were hammered in no time. 

While this was a brunch event, they could not conduct the circle. They did, however, turn eyeballs as 30+ hashers got up to sign the Hash Anthem as they made masturbating gestures and acted to spit on our hands for lubrication. 

They also got a couple, a dermatologist and his patient (on a date), interested enough to join them for the next run. While some hashers thinned out after not being able to control their drinks, those who stayed back continued to party till way after brunch hours and entertained themselves to a game of Jenga followed by 21, a drinking game. 

Honorary mentions:

A big shout out to team Doolally and especially Clit-ohhhh-Patra for the lovely arrangement for the group.

On On!

Run # 560 Piroza Mansion

'Teja Main Hoon, Mark Kidhar Hai?'

On the Loop tried really hard to blow like Baby Dick does. Fubar gave it a go too. Eventually, we realised that no one can blow like Baby Dick does.

We're talking about the Hash bugle, pervs.

In her loudest voice ever, Bonsai, GM, announced, "Welcome to run # Five Hundred and Sixtyyyyyyyy." Hares Anand, Gaurav Saha and Half a Peacock took to the center of the busy street and explained the details of the run. Very proudly the hares announced how the run had been marked with red tape at HAP's height... not true and how the run would pass through the infamous Chor Bazaar... not true again as we would come to know eventually

Horny Yeti, On a Loop, Meghan and Fubar decided to walk this one off to get photo opportunities along the way. So, we decided to join HAP as she swept the hashers. And we realised the mistake within 20 minutes when we hit the first junction. While we looked for the marking at an intersection, Half a Peacock looked visibly confused. HaP, senior hare, had no clue where the next turn was and us hashers couldn't control our laughter. :P

Can you see the marking? She couldn't... Bwahahahaha

So, after getting lost, thanks to the hare, and entering the venue from Grant Road (West), which was not supposed to be... the 5 of us reached after everybody else had finished a round of beer... NOT!

Piroza terrace is a getaway in itself. Located in one of the most busiest areas of Bombay, it disconnects you from the crowd and the noise. The shed keeps you protected from the heat and the lovely plantations to keeps you entertained.

Circle:

Hares were put in the bucket and boo'ed upon mixed reviews for the run. 6/10 for this one.
  

Up next were charges and FUBAR, once again realised not to put his big foot in his even bigger mouth. While he charged Bela for shortcutting, she wouldn't sit on the ice and nominated him in her stead. :( ... Hashers laughed and shared plenty a stories while Fub and Mr. Haresh Gidwani (for resurfacing) froze their butts off on the ice.



Gaurav was called on the ice again and would sit in the bucket as Gaurav for the last time. His christening was long overdue. After a successful vote, he was named 'Clit - Ohhh - Patra'... don't forget the pleasure in OH. Why that name? Well, he earned it for his interest in pussies and history... once again, we were talking of cats... STOP IT already... :P

Here is something to be excited about...
How many of you attended the Maha Hash at Mahabaleshwar? OR the Nash Hash in Nashik? You know the one thing common in both?

Both were hosted by Bombay Hash House Harriers

Some still claim that they were one of the best Nash Hash's in India and Bombay Hash did a wonderful job hosting it.
Ab apne muh miya mithoo kya bane hum...

BH3 is hosting 2020 again and all support is welcome and appreciated. We will need helping hands so if you think you can contribute to the work, kindly get in touch with the mismanagement.

NOW, everyone got so orgasmic hearing this that we completely forgot to put Farty in the bucket for getting us this venue to run. "bach gaya saala"

Down went the beer cans, up went the volume as we sang the Hash Anthem!

Beer, Biryani and Bak-bak continued till we felt we'd had enough of each other and thinned out.

Some more memories from the run:

So lost we had to have chai!

Teen Mundi wali Chudail!

r u relaxing? 

The hare who didn't mark aka Teja for the day!

Run 556 Khemlani Residence

Post coming soon!

Run # 554, 'Outside' Aangan Bungalow, Lonavla

Drive/ Run/ Drive/ Beer/ Biryani

Winter has started approaching. Atleast the morning had a nip of cold in the air. Oh wait! That must've been because I was on the bike. Ha Ha Ha!

The gang at ze German Bakery? Beers at 8am cos why not?

Horny Yeti breaking his Karwa Chauth ka vrat by the hands of On A Loop!

Lonavla runs have gotten a lot better since German Bakery has opened up. That is definitely evident as a lot of hashers gathered at the drinking hole for beers and breakfast before heading towards Aangan Bungalow for the run. 

... only to realise that the run was not supposed to start from there. Hares (apparently) Fartashaty and Wreckless had consulted hare (actually) Shailesh to show them a route for us to run/walk this morning. 

So, here is how it went, we drove to a lil ahead of Della Adventures, parked our vehicles in the middle of nowhere, walked 3kms to an open piece of land, had chai and then walked back 3 kms to the parking. No marking, no false trails, no nonsense. Just how I like it. Long runners were not disappointed to as the hare, Shailesh, had planned a longer route which took them further ahead and back. So, the short runners did 6kms and the long runners did 10 odd clicks.

And then started the drive back to outside Aangan bungalow is. The venue was nice and shady with a lot of greenery and trees around. Thank you Anand, Gayatri and Neel aka 'Little Master' for giving us the spoils.

The gang there was!

The headcount for this one was 18. To our advantage, the beers were in the ice for longer than usual. 

Circle:

"Hares on the ice", said Bonsai and, somehow, Wreckless and Fartashaty came and sat on the ice. Shailesh was nowhere to be seen. I think he took a break from all the hard work and decided to give the circle a miss. Anyway, Wreckless kept cribbing about how the newly posted, 'Father In Law' (congrats Sanjay) came late and how they couldn't mark any trail. Bloody bullshit I say but it is always so merry when Wreckless is talking with his typical Bawa accent and that baby smile that we let him talk forever. 

Osama and Bollywood Boobs!

Osama suddenly decided to bail... He quickly ate his biryani and was trying to exit with Bollywood Boobs even before the circle had started. So we very rudely (thats the way he likes it) asked him to wait, got him on the ice where he kept showing his middle finger to everyone. We thanked him for letting us know that he is alive and also for the lovely Candies breakfast that he got for us. 

Not often does BH3 get a crowd willing to do a long run, especially when there is no marking for a long run. We had to acknowledge that. So, all the long runners made it on the ice too.

It brings us immense pleasure to find out that, after joining the hash, hashers get the knack of running. So much that they go and buy new shoes. And nothing else makes us happier. Just Gaurav and Just Ria recently declared their love for running. So we asked them to remove their left shoes and drink the damn beer off it. They obliged. "Not a single drop spiller and that's how it's done!"

We were in such a good mood that we even knighted 2 of our hashers. Ria got Sulemani Ass (Mrs. Assman had to get a last name) while Neil got 'Little Master'.

And on that happy note, we pledged our loyalty to the hash via the Hash Anthem and then ate our Biryani and thinned away.

On On until the next one! 

Run # 550 Huseni farms, Karjat

On this run...

Bela is unsuccessful in getting rid of Vinod

Horny Yeti and On a Loop fuck the markings up, literally!

Everyone keeps saying, "Checking"

It did not rain... :( Well, not as much as we would have hoped for it to rain. But that didn't dampen our spirits for Run # 550. With that thought in mind and Wandering Nuts on the lead, 40 of us took a right from the gate.

Within the first km, we were off the trail, as we blindly followed Wandering Nuts and then someone yelled, "Have you seen any markings?".

For the next few minutes, all we heard was, "Checking!"

Eventually, we found a small piece of tape hiding behind the big leaf and moved on!

 

Another km into the trail, we were lost again as there was no visible tape. Horny Yeti claimed that there was tape but we felt that he was equally lost. 

For the next few minutes, all we heard was, "Checking!"

Eventually, we found a small piece of tape stuck to a twig on the floor behind a big rock and moved on!

Wanna go up there!

Wackopedia's failed attempt at drowning in that ocean!

Waterfalls galore!

The scenery had now changed from a small village to a slightly higher, mid-mountain climb through bushes and the occasional waterfalls. We came upon a thick patch of bush...

For the next few minutes, all we heard was, "Checking!"

Eventually, we found a small piece of tape somewhere far off from the track we were on and we moved on!

Once we reached on top, the rain decided to help us off our misery with occasional bouts of drizzles to cool off Wackopedia's angry head. It was also noticed that the moment Wacko went a few hundred meters away from us, it would rain. He would come close, it would stop.

All this chaos from the checking and looking for the marking made sure that Front Runners were in close proximity of the walkers behind. Once we hit the lush open patch, full of greenery and a lake visible at a distance... we looked again... AND THEN...

For the next few minutes, all we heard was, "Checking!"

Eventually, we found a small piece of tape somewhere far FAR away and we moved on!

The marking stayed aloof from us all the way back to Huseni farm. But the trail was at its monsoon best. 

Since we were celebrating our 550th run today, beers were on the house. The weather made sure that the beers got chilled faster than ever and the party began. A little while later, Bela screamed in joy, "YEAH! I am finally rid of Vinod!". Horny Yeti couldn't bear to see her happiness. He took his car and found Vinod and brought him back. Bela fake smiled for the rest of the event. 

Circle:

Virgins couldn't stop praising the trail... AND the marking, they need more time on the hash. While their opinions need grooming, their interest in the concept of hashing was very visible. So we sang to HORNY YETI and ON A LOOP as they emptied the piss-pots. Neelima, virgin hasher, couldn't come to terms with the fact that those were actual piss pots.

VINOD, who was back to the safe embrace of his favorite hasher(s), was iced next. BELA joined him as they emptied their share of piss pot beer.

ASHWIN, GAURAV, and UNIBALL were accompanied by HALF A PEACOCK on the ice for arriving fashionably late for the run.

ASHWIN and UNIBALL sulked while HALF A PEACOCK spent all her ice time on GAURAV's lap as he was hung, big time! (see image for reference)

ASSMAN and RIA were next on the slab. Assman was applauded for doing a wonderful job on the t-shirts while Ria was officially trained for the next time on the ice during her naming ceremony.

Huseni farm is officially on the 'BH3 Heritage site' list as it continues to be our TO-GO spot for August runs. And what better coincidence than the 550th happening from Huseni farm? We couldn't thank SHIVAJI enough for this venue and to join him was our 'VML-A' (decode this) for the lager.

As it has NOW become customary, we do not end our circle without the customary... Zafar Anthem (name changed... cos I fucking felt like).

Quickly to follow was the HASH ANTHEM. Seniors sang and acted and spat as virgins tried to keep up. 

What followed was the very special session of BEERYANI and conversations.

Moments from the run: