Run # 346 Veta House

Yippee! It’s the last Sunday of the month again. The time when a few a**holes, religiously, get up early in the morning and drive around the town. They do this so that they can reach a particular place to meet other assholes. What do they do after they meet? Some do their BLOWJOBS (their job involves blowing the trumpet)… some do some stretching… one showed us the view of the valley… and a lot are just chilling out…

This time, we met at this bungalow ahead of Dana Pani beach. Lenny and Remo had organized the entire day’s proceedings and some of them were rather a welcome surprise. So after a lot of chores and BLOWs and staring at the best thing that God made (apart from the cases of beer) we started the run. OH BY THE WAY… FOSTERS IS GONE AND BOMBAY HASH IS NOW OFFICIALLY FUELLED BY KINGFISHER… no offence but we have more reasons to drink. Coming back to the run… a pretty pathetic run (remind you… all runs will be pathetic for me… “AM A DRINKER WITH A RUNNING PROBLEM”). It just went on and on, on the concrete road and we were accompanied by Chanels’ latest perfume range… ‘THE DRY FISH FIESTA’. Well, we did take an off road route which took us through some beautiful bungalows and the amazing Raheja Erotica (its actually Exotica but that’s how I read it when I first saw the board)… we then crossed another small village getting us to a main road where Lenny was seen distributing water… WOW… then we passed a lot of fishing boats and some more of the perfume… back on the concrete to the bungalow. I was surprised though… we must have been minutes away from the beautiful bitches… oops… BEACHES and were hoping to run on the beach but that never happened… Screw you HARES…

So, we finally made it and now the surprise started. We first had a generous spread of biting which included kachoris, samosas and stuff, of course Kingfisher was eager to be poured down our throats and we had a DJ belting out some nice numbers to groove on. Like, this was not enough, we were surprised even more when the shower taps were opened and we realized we even have a rain dance organized for us. So there we are multitasking… eating our starters, peeing on people (u will see what I mean), getting wet (in every possible way), dancing, and drinking beer and watching other pretty gals get wet and more. The standard was the pole dance and the horny dance by Chewing Bum, Fart-a-shat-y and gang. We were also disturbed by the Pandus and there was a conversation like so:

Pandu: Kya ho raha hai idhar?

Hasher: Kuch nahi saab… party chalu hai…

Pandu: lekin awaaj bahut zyaada hai… baju mein uncle rehte hai jinko dil ki bimari hai… woh complaint karege…

Hasher: nahin saab woh nahin karege… woh toh hamare saath beer pi rahe hai…

Pandu: theek hai… music ka volume kum karo…

Hasher: koi baat nahin saab… (And the cops went away)

We danced till the water got over… so we decided we should go ahead with the circle.

The circle was no less fun. First were the HARES, Lenny and Remo who were applauded for such a wonderful arrangement.

Then we had the Virgins (no longer)… Surya, Neelam (eyes wide open), Adrain, Sachita (panting) and Ridhi (one leg up), Bindu, Vispy and Munish (for coming back after 3 years)… and Sandeep (not a first timer). It was their lucky dat that Osama was not there to mock them. by the way… Munish… I saw you on orkut in a community which is named ‘HASH HOUSE HARRIERS MUMBAI’ but I guess that has got nothing to do with us… its all bout dopers so u might wanna get out of there unless u dope…  *explaination to most brackets given in pics.

We then had Kamal, Surya, Neelam (eyes, still, wide open), Harsh, Adrain, Sachita and Ridhi as they were charged for not completing the run in the said manner.

Hash names were given to Remo, Lenny and Rishi…

Remo: He was the reason why we had to bear Chanels’ latest ‘DRY FISH FIESTA’ on the run. We were so impressed by the perfumed that we named him ‘SEXY BOMBIL’.

LENNY: He was the reason why we had such a mouth watering feast. Apparently, he also comes from the catering background. We name him ‘BUTT-LER’.

RISHI: Now, Rishi… oh Rishi… thank you so much. Rishi made sure we did not take a step extra on the entire run. Whenever we came across a circle, we saw where Rishi was going and we did not take that route. It turned out that at every circle Rishi was taking the route which would lead him to the cross and that saved us… time and sweat.. We thought of naming him ‘Misguided Dick’ but the baby started crying and got the name ‘FALSIE’. Psst… I happened to look up the meaning of ‘Falsie’ on http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/falsies?r=14 … it says ‘Padding or a pad worn inside a brassiere to make the breasts appear larger. Often used in the plural.’

This run marked the beginning of a new, actually old, tradition of singing the Hash Anthem on every run. That’s the least we can do for Bombay Hash. So the circle was over and we headed back to some soft music and our favorite Biryani and faded out in the afternoon sun. The next ones at Pune, I guess. Till then, ON ! ON !