Run # 349 Huseni's Farm

Dear Hashers,

I had a wonderful time at Bombay Hash yesterday. Since the time I have started running with Bombay Hash I have noticed something. Unlike our hash, the Bombay Hash is very vibrant and enthusiastic. I am not saying that we ain’t good. Its just hard to believe how the men in BH3 are so into the concept that they treat BH3 like a routine or a prayer. And it is also amongst the very few ‘family hashs’ which has hashers as young as 5 yrs to as veteran as 80+.

Anyways, the run was set at a striking location on the outskirts of Bombay. The venue was ‘Huseni’s Farm’. Let me tell you something about this venue… Huseni’s farm… no doubt that this is an ideal place for runs to be conducted. I would like to point out to the fact and would also like to propose that Huseni’s farm should be named the Headoffice for our runs. We have had umpteen number of runs from this venue and the support from Mr. Huseni has been impeccable.

Anyway, the place was surrounded with greenery and mountains. We noticed fog covered mountain-heads on our way to the venue. I travelled with Butki, Shining, Chewing Bum, Pubic Hare and Joyce. We stopped on the way to put ON ON directions for the others to come. Butki, being the only hare, also marked a part of the trail. This reminds me of another hare, Shivaji. This sonofagun comes a day before the run, marks the trail and then disappears on D day. I should mention that Bh3 is a weird bunch.

1. There is usually a single hare who messes the day for the hashers

2. No one hits on others wives.

3. They only stare.

4. Their 2^nd rule is that all hashers should wear hash tees for the runs.

5. Their 1^st rule is that THERE ARE NO RULES.

6. Hare raiser is absent on all the runs.

So, there we were, all gathered up on a lovely Sunday morning to get some fat out of our body. The run started at 1030 hrs (IST) and took the 50 odd folks thru mud, bushes, uphill, downhill, crossed bus depots, small villages, fields and low lying red ribbons. Let me tell you. Butki is so tiny, soooo tiny… she makes tiny things look…………… not tiny. Usually the start of the run is marked with the sound of the Hash horn. Dick-ra forgot to get the horn. Surprisingly he got away with it.

Theres this new thing that we did today on the run. Butki arranged for a check near a temple where all the hashers were supposed to gather and sing a hash song… the song they picked was ‘THE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS’ sung to the tunes of THE ADAMS FAMILY TITLE SONG. Lemme tell you, It was a disaster. We don’t qualify even when it comes to singing the bathroom. We can participate in the worst singers competition and put the worse singing champs to shame..

The entire run was around 2 hrs including the singing stop. Surprisingly, Racing snake was a TRB (third running bastard). Something rare in Bombay hash. Chewing Bum was guarding the  GOOD Kingfisher as he couldn’t run (ya rite, like otherwise he runs… ). FA Duck managed to break his leg on the run. There were a lot of indecent conversations amongst decent people. News is, Osama is still spoiling The BH3 with the most delicious bitings and starters that he gets for the bunch. We did miss him in the last few runs. Which also reminds me, Anders and Mohan surprised us with their presence after a long long time. Also, Shahrukh got peanuts and chewda to go with the beer. What a treat! First, we have an amazing beer brand to join us on all our runs, plus hashers bring tempting bitings to go alongwith it. Its like heaven on earth and in the Hash… After a lot of eating and guzzling and burping and farting and staring and laughing and clicking and chatting… we finally decided to get on with the circle.

Butki was iced for haring the run. We sung ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FUCK YOU’. At this point she announced that we needed to get more hares for the future runs. Acquistion was that Chewing Bum jumped out of a running bus when asked to hare for this run. He was the only hare at run # 348 and was scandalized by the hashers. Thus we had Wash basin, Fartashaty and Shahrukh who came up to hare the next run. Lets see how much they remember once the beer effect is over.

Virgins : Robert a.k.a F A Duck made his debut at Bombay Hash. And he also broke his leg on his debut. This guy has been to hashes all over the world. I, literally, snoozed while he was giving the list out… Korea, Argentina… those are the only 2 I heard before and after the snooze respectively. Sukesh, Strangway(not a hash name) with Rakhi and Neil (the 3 year old virgin), Soren (Denmark), Aparna, José, Sunil Bajaj (not related to ‘Hamara Bajaj’ or to our very own Sonu Bajaj), Adnan and Gaurav were the other virgins.

Charges : We don’t have rules, agreed. But we are loyal to the BH3. Sexy Bombil, Pubic Hare, Osama, Wash Basin, Vivek and Murli were iced for not wearing hash tees. Maanika, Joyce and Ameeta were iced for wearing a Tee in the first place. It’s a crime for chicks to do so… agreed that they wore tees… but they had the guts to wear non hash tees.

Appreciations : All those who attended the Monsoon Madness at Goa were also iced.

Announcements : Hyderabad has its 1000^th run and has invited all hashers to join them for this grand event. Nash Hash (Bangalore) on the 10 – 12 April, 2009. Also announced BH3 weekend on the 25^th 26^th and 27^th Jan, 2009. Venue to be announced.

Rajat must have kept himself hungry for quiet a few days as that SOB could not wait to fill his plate even before the circle ended… he should have been iced but got away with it. Also, as mentioned earlier, Dick-ra got away with not bringing the Hash Horn. We’ll get them later.

The circle was over and now everybody jumped onto the 5 star Biryani and took plateful of good eating. This followed by more beers and conversations… It looked more like a beer and biryani festival.

So that was it. The run was over, food was over, beer drinkers were satisfied and thus they decided to leave the farts for their cars on their drive back home. ON! ON!